Treating Myself Like a Toddler

Gretchen Rubin recently posted a note on Facebook entitled "Treat Yourself Like a Toddler." This concept is the epitome of my personal commandment to "TCOY (take care of yourself)."

Getting enough sleep, eating right, having enough quiet time, not getting too cold, keeping my favorite "toys" near at hand - these are all important considerations for my personal happiness, especially during the sometimes stress-filled holiday season.

Quote of the Day

"I have found that most people
are about as happy as they make up
their minds to be."

~Abraham Lincoln

Quote of the Day

"We are repeatedly what we do.
Excellence, then, is not an act,
but a habit."

~Aristotle

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving

Resolution: An Attitude of Gratitude

On the first day of November, it is a good time to think about "liv[ing] in thanksgiving daily" (Alma 34:38). I am resolving to make a "gratitude journal" post on my blog every day this month.

Resource: "The Divine Gift of Gratitude" by Thomas S. Monson (October 2010).

Resolution: Temple Worship

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (that is, a Mormon), I believe that each of the 134 currently operating temples around the world is a "House of the Lord." A temple is a sacred building; it is a place of learning, a place for making covenants to serve Jesus Christ and humankind, a place of peace, a place for quiet contemplation.

At the end of 2009, my local ecclesiastical leader (that is, my bishop) challenged the members of our congregation to spend more time in the temple in the coming year. I took that challenge seriously and determined that I would sacrifice some of my leisure time to attend the temple more frequently. A typical frequency of attendance is monthly, but that didn't seem to require the level of "sacrifice" I desired to make (despite the fact that I've not always attended even that frequently). I decided that I wanted to attend as close to weekly as my schedule would permit.

When I completed a five-year work commitment on June 30, I analyzed my temple attendance frequency for the first half of the year, computing an average of 2.3 times a month. I decided that I wanted to work toward doubling that average over the next six months. I also wanted to contemplate and incorporate into my worship some of the "suggestions of how to gain more benefit from temple attendance" from Richard G. Scott in an address he gave in April 2009 entitled "Temple Worship: The Source of Strength and Power in Times of Need." My husband and I also determined that we wanted to complete a project we'd tentatively started, inspired by a friend who was doing the same thing, to visit each of the thirteen currently operating temples in Utah during this year.

As I've attended the temple in recent months, I've concluded that this goal of increased temple attendance is much more than an attempt to comply with a challenge from my bishop or to do something "fun" with my husband. The temple truly is a place for me to follow my Personal Commandments to "be still" and to "let go and let God." I am more peaceful when I visit the temple. I feel a sense of being part of something bigger than myself. I am empowered not only to cope with the realities of day-to-day life but also to stretch, to grow, so that I can become the person that I want to be. Being in the temple makes me happy.

My on-going resolution for temple worship includes visiting the temple an average of five times each month and rotating among the various activities of the temple.

Resolution: The Simple Woman's Daybook

I've decided that I'm going to participate in The Simple Woman's Daybook. I see this as a way to simplify, to be grateful, to be still, and to seek joy, while trying to blog more frequently.

I plan to post my daybook on my "regular" blog on a weekly basis, linking to the host site. My first post is here.

Quote of the Day

"They must often change,
who would be constant in happiness or wisdom."

~Confucius

Quote of the Day

"Do or do not ... there is no try."

~Yoda

From Beliefnet.com:

Eliminate "I'll try" From Your Vocabulary

When we say, “I tried,” in the past tense, it means we have failed at reaching a goal. Likewise, saying “I’ll try” is a way of excusing ourselves from doing the hard work of accomplishing whatever it is we are setting out to do. When you make a commitment or promise to yourself or others, say instead, “I will do it!”

Thinking about Priorities

Today in the women's meeting at church, the new organization president, Brittany, talked about priorities and about putting "first things first." She said it's really easy - as we all know - to get caught up in the daily tasks of life and to neglect some of the things that really matter.

I find time management to be an interesting concept. What we do with our time illustrates what we truly value. I know that no one can do everything - but I am certain that each of us makes time for the things that really matter to us. On a very basic level, we make time to shower, to eat, and to sleep (even if we don't eat as well or sleep as much as we ought to). Those things are obviously priorities to us, so we make time for them. We simply can't wait until we find time for the things that are truly important.

Here are some ideas about priorities that I like and want to consider further:

• "Good, Better, Best" by Dallin H. Oaks (October 2007).


• "Put First Things First," which one of Stephen Covey's "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People." (I particularly like the concepts of "urgent" vs. "important" and "Quadrant II Time Management.")


• "Focus and Priorities" by Dallin H. Oaks (April 2001).


• "Seek ye first the kingdom of God" (Matthew 6:33).

By the way, Brittany ended her lesson with one of my favorite scriptures, one that's actually part of my Guiding Principles:

"And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a [wo]man should run faster than [s]he has strength. And again, it is expedient that [s]he should be diligent, that thereby [s]he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order" (Mosiah 4:27).

Quote of the Day

"Your definition of happiness will depend upon who you are - but do you have a sense of peace in your heart, a feeling of security about your future, and a feeling of anticipation when you wake up in the morning? If we can call this happiness, then would you say that at this moment you are happy?"

~Masaru Emoto

Quote of the Day

"A part-time effort, a sorta-kinda commitment, an untested promise, won't suffice. You must know that you mean business, that you're going to jump into it up to your eye sockets and not turn back at the last minute."

~Gregg Levoy

Brainstorming: Symbols of Me

When I first decided to create a happiness project and started to consider my personal core values and my personal commandments, I also started thinking about symbols of who I am and what I value.

Recently Gretchen Rubin posted a list of her nine auspicious symbols of her happiness project, inspired by Buddhism's eight auspicious symbols. That got me thinking about symbols again, so here are the results of my brainstorming about symbols:

An unicorn, representing magic and Jesus Christ. The ocean, representing tranquility, change, and the concept "Be still and know that I am God." A rainbow, representing a promise and also color. A growing flower, to symbolize my commandment to "stretch." A book, representing knowledge. A heart, symbolizing love and family. Pi, symbolizing the seemingly irrational but orderly universe. A candle, representing light and warmth. The full moon, representing night and also change, as well as a sense of awe. The sun, symbolizing light and happiness ("there is sunshine in my soul today"). A bear - maybe a teddy bear or else a panda bear - representing (I think) comfort. Clouds, because I'm fascinated by them. A girl - like on the cover of Stargirl, representing me and "girl power." Penquins, just because they are so darn cute.

I'd like to finalize my list - probably limiting it to eight items - and then ask my daughter to create simple lines drawings for each symbol (with the simplicity of the drawings being related to my personal commandment to "simplify").

Quote of the Day

"Storybook happiness involves every form of pleasant thumb-twiddling; true happiness involves the full use of one's powers and talents."

~John W. Gardner

Resolution: Early to Bed

I am a night person. Left to my own devices, I'd go to bed after midnight every night and sleep until ten o'clock each morning.

At least I think I would. Because I've had school-age children for the past fifteen years and because I've been working at an office for the past five years, I've not recently had the luxury of that option. Most weekday mornings I'm up between 6 and 7.

I still like to stay up late. And that means that I'm often sleep-deprived.

For (at least) the next several weeks, I'm going to resolve to get ready for bed by 10 o'clock each night. While I'll likely not be asleep before 11, especially since I like to read in bed, I'm hoping that by getting to bed earlier, I'll be less fatigued and more able to cope with the stresses of wrapping up my current work situation by June 30 and having some remodeling done on our house this month.

Since it's now past 10 o'clock, I guess I'd better get logged off the computer and head to bed!

Thinking about Commitment

A friend on Facebook posted this thought today:

There is a difference
between interest and commitment.
When you're interested in something,
you do it only when it's convenient.
When you're committed to something,
you accept no excuses, only results.
This idea immediately resonated with me - and the more I thought about it, the more I liked it! Whether we are talking about reading for pleasure, losing weight, being a contributing member of an organization, or just about any other aspect of one's life, the difference between interest and commitment is significant.

I am an avid reader. Other people often mention to me that they'd like to read like I do ... when they find the time. I doubt I'm any less busy than they are, but I'm "committed" to being a reader. I'm not just interested in reading when it's convenient - but I make the time for this most enjoyable pastime. (Lately I have had less time to read than I would wish I did - but that's something I hope to correct through my efforts to create happiness in my life.)

On the other hand, I realize that I'm only "interested" - at the present time - in losing weight. When I'm tired, I don't exercise. When I feel like eating chocolate, I do it. Until I'm committed to losing weight, it just isn't going to happen.

In the things that matter most - in my faith, with my family, in the promises I've made - I want to always be committed.

Resolution: Walk for Exercise

The first resolution of my "happiness project" is to walk for exercise. At present, I am challenging myself to walk at least three days each week, for a total of at least five miles a week.

Although I feel my advancing age every day, I am in good health. Because I want to remain in good health for many years to come, I need to lose some weight and I need to lower my cholesterol. Neither weight loss nor cholesterol reduction are behaviors that I can incorporate into my life. ("Stand in the middle of the room and lose weight" is not something that anyone can do.) But walking for exercise on a regular basis is a behavior that can help with both my weight and my cholesterol. Walking also reduces stress and provides thinking time. Because I like to listen to music while I walk, I can get a double dose of serenity if I walk with my iPod Shuffle.

Earlier this year, I participated in a 100-Mile Fitness Challenge. I didn't make the 100-mile goal but I did walk 88 miles from January 1 through March 31 - and I had a great sense of accomplishment. Unfortunately, it was all too easy to stop walking once I no longer had the challenge to make me accountable. Regular walking is something I need to incorporate into my life on a long-term basis.

I walked two miles today.

Brainstorming: What Brings Me Guilt, Anger, Boredom, and Remorse

Searching for lost things. Dealing with ID-10-T situations. Not keeping the promises I make to myself. Yelling at my kids. Sitting in long, unproductive meetings. Eating too much. Complaining. Wasting time. Not being able to let things go. Having regrets about what I wish I'd done differently or what I wish I'd said instead. Being frustrated about people I think are unethical. Feeling like there is never enough time. Unfulfilled expectations, especially of people about whom I care.

Brainstorming: What Brings Me Joy, Satisfaction, and Engagement

Reading. Chocolate. Politics. Debits equal credits. Music. Positive feedback on a training session I conducted. Diet Coke with Lime. Ideas. Raspberries. Lists. Watching my children learn and grow. Talking about books. Playing word games. Successfully reconciling an account. Spending time with my sisters. Being near the ocean. Starting at the beginning and working my way through systematically. Mexican food. Analysis. A sense of connection to Jesus Christ. Concepts. Movies that make me cry. Books that change who I am or what I think. Learning something new. Naps. Sunshine. Rain. A full moon. Thunderstorms. Taking photos. Walking. National parks. Football games. Learning to play something new on the piano. Planning. Gaining new insights from scripture study. Being in the temple. Order. Feeling loved. Feeling appreciated. Quiet time. Microwave popcorn. Justice. Mercy. A good night's sleep.

Introductory Post

Gretchen Rubin. The Happiness Project. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 2009. xiii.

A "happiness project" is an approach to changing your life. First is the preparation stage, when you identify what brings you joy, satisfaction, and engagement, and also what brings you guilt, anger, boredom, and remorse. Second is the making of resolutions, when you identify the concrete actions that will boost your happiness. Then comes the interesting part: keeping your resolutions.